Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where a person makes false statements that cause their audience to doubt their own memory, perception, or judgement. It is classically part of an abusive relationship — many abusers use gaslighting to confuse and disorient those they are abusing, trying to distract them from the fact they are being abused, or ultimately convince them that they are not being abused. A simple example might be: Person A told Person B they would go grocery shopping. Person A does not go grocery shopping, and Person B asks why. Person A responds by saying “I never said I would go grocery shopping” and accuses Person B of “misremembering.” Or Person A might say “I was only joking when I said that, you should have known I wasn’t seriously planning on going grocery shopping,” even though Person A was clearly not joking. Or even, Person A might get angry that Person B didn’t go grocery shopping, and blame them for the fact that there is now no food. When this goes on repeatedly, it is extremely disorienting and can be surprisingly powerful. It can make a smart, logical, confident person start questioning their own judgement and memory and sow a lot of self doubt. It feels like one’s mind is in a fog, and one is getting hit and hurt by words, but it’s hard to even put your finger on where they are coming from. Every time one tries to combat the lie that was said, the abuser tries to flip everything around, so there is no fair playing field of reason and truth. It is extremely disorienting.